———egone quid velim?
Dies noctesque ames me, me desideres,
Me somnies, me expectes, me cogites,
Me speres, me te oblectes, mecum tota sis,
Meus fac postremo animus, quando ego sum tuus.
Dost ask (my dear) what service I will have?
To love me day and night is all I crave,
To dream on me, to expect, to think on me,
Depend and hope, still covet me to see,
Delight thyself in me, be wholly mine,
For know, my love, that I am wholly thine.
But all this needed not, you will say; if she affect once, she will be his, settle her love on him, on him alone,
[5332]———illum absens absentem
Auditque videtque———
she can, she must think and dream of nought else but him, continually of him, as did Orpheus on his Eurydice,
Te dulcis conjux, te solo in littore mecum,
Te veniente die, te discedente canebam.
On thee sweet wife was all my song.
Morn, evening, and all along.
And Dido upon her Aeneas;
———et quae me insomnia terrent,
Multa viri virtus, et plurima currit imago.
And ever and anon she thinks upon the man
That was so fine, so fair, so blithe, so debonair.
Clitophon, in the first book of Achilles, Tatius, complaineth how that his mistress Leucippe tormented him much more in the night than in the day. [5333]“For all day long he had some object or other to distract his senses, but in the night all ran upon her. All night long he lay [5334] awake, and could think of nothing else but her, he could not get her out of his mind; towards morning, sleep took a little pity on him, he slumbered awhile, but all his dreams were of her.”
[5335]———te nocte sub atra
Alloquor, amplector, falsaque in imagine somni,
Gaudia solicitam palpant evanida mentem.
In the dark night I speak, embrace, and find
That fading joys deceive my careful mind.
The same complaint Euryalus makes to his Lucretia, [5336]“day and night I think of thee, I wish for thee, I talk of thee, call on thee, look for thee, hope for thee, delight myself in thee, day and night I love thee.”
[5337]Nec mihi vespere
Surgente decedunt amores,
Nec rapidum fugiente solem.
Утро, вечер, все для меня едино, у меня беспокойные мысли, Te vigilans oculis, animo te nocte requiro. Все еще я думаю о тебе. Anima non est ubi animat, sed ubi amat. Я живу и дышу в тебе, я желаю тебя.
[5339]O niveam quae te poterit mihi reddere lucem,
O mihi felicem terque quaterque diem.
“O happy day that shall restore thee to my sight.” In the meantime he raves on her; her sweet face, eyes, actions, gestures, hands, feet, speech, length, breadth, height, depth, and the rest of her dimensions, are so surveyed, measured, and taken, by that Astrolabe of phantasy, and that so violently sometimes, with such earnestness and eagerness, such continuance, so strong an imagination, that at length he thinks he sees her indeed; he talks with her, he embraceth her, Ixion-like, pro Junone nubem, a cloud for Juno, as he said. Nihil praeter Leucippen cerno, Leucippe mihi perpetuo in oculis, et animo versatur, I see and meditate of nought but Leucippe. Be she present or absent, all is one;
[5340]Et quamvis aberat placidae praesentia formae
Quem dederat praesens forma, manebat amor.
That impression of her beauty is still fixed in his mind,—[5341]haerent infixi pectora vultus; as he that is bitten with a mad dog thinks all he sees dogs—dogs in his meat, dogs in his dish, dogs in his drink: his mistress is in his eyes, ears, heart, in all his senses. Valleriola had a merchant, his patient, in the same predicament; and [5342]Ulricus Molitor, out of Austin, hath a story of one, that through vehemency of his love passion, still thought he saw his mistress present with him, she talked with him, Et commisceri cum ea vigilans videbatur, still embracing him.
Теперь, если эта страсть любви может производить такие эффекты, если она приятно направлена, какие горькие муки она породит, когда она сопровождается страхом и постоянной печалью, подозрением, заботой, агонией, как это обычно бывает, какая невыносимая боль это должна быть?
———Non tam grandes
Gargara culmos, quot demerso
Pectore curas longa nexas
Usque catena, vel quae penitus
Crudelis amor vulnera miscet.
Mount Gargarus hath not so many stems
As lover's breast hath grievous wounds,
And linked cares, which love compounds.
When the King of Babylon would have punished a courtier of his, for loving of a young lady of the royal blood, and far above his fortunes, [5344] Apollonius in presence by all means persuaded to let him alone; “For to love and not enjoy was a most unspeakable torment,” no tyrant could invent the like punishment; as a gnat at a candle, in a short space he would consume himself. For love is a perpetual [5345]flux, angor animi, a warfare, militat omni amans, a grievous wound is love still, and a lover's heart is Cupid's quiver, a consuming [5346]fire, [5347]accede ad hunc ignem, &c. an inextinguishable fire.
[5348]———alitur et crescit malum,
Et ardet intus, qualis Aetnaeo vapor
Exundat antro———
As Aetna rageth, so doth love, and more than Aetna or any material fire.
[5349]———Nam amor saepe Lypareo
Vulcano ardentiorem flammam incendere solet.
Vulcan's flames are but smoke to this. For fire, saith [5350]Xenophon, burns them alone that stand near it, or touch it; but this fire of love burneth and scorcheth afar off, and is more hot and vehement than any material fire: [5351]Ignis in igne furit, 'tis a fire in a fire, the quintessence of fire. For when Nero burnt Rome, as Calisto urgeth, he fired houses, consumed men's bodies and goods; but this fire devours the soul itself, “and [5352]one soul is worth a hundred thousand bodies.” No water can quench this wild fire.
[5353]———In pectus coecos absorbuit ignes,
Ignes qui nec aqua perimi potuere, nec imbre
Diminui, neque graminibus, magicisque susurris.
A fire he took into his breast,
Which water could not quench.
Nor herb, nor art, nor magic spells
Could quell, nor any drench.
Except it be tears and sighs, for so they may chance find a little ease.
[5354]Sic candentia colla, sic patens frons,
Sic me blanda tui Neaera ocelli,
Sic pares minio genae perurunt,
Ut ni me lachrymae rigent perennes,
Totus in tenues eam favillas.
So thy white neck, Neaera, me poor soul
Doth scorch, thy cheeks, thy wanton eyes that roll:
Were it not for my dropping tears that hinder,
I should be quite burnt up forthwith to cinder.
This fire strikes like lightning, which made those old Grecians paint Cupid, in many of their [5355]temples, with Jupiter's thunderbolts in his hands; for it wounds, and cannot be perceived how, whence it came, where it pierced. [5356]Urimur, et coecum, pectora vulnus habent, and can hardly be discerned at first.
[5357]———Est mollis flamma medullas,
Et tacitum insano vivit sub pectore vulnus.
A gentle wound, an easy fire it was,
And sly at first, and secretly did pass.
But by-and-by it began to rage and burn amain;
[5358]———Pectus insanum vapor.
Amorque torret, intus saevus vorat
Penitus medullas, atque per venas meat
Visceribus ignis mersus, et venis latens,
Ut agilis altas flamma percurrit trabes.
This fiery vapour rageth in the veins,
And scorcheth entrails, as when fire burns
A house, it nimbly runs along the beams,
And at the last the whole it overturns.
Abraham Hoffemannus, lib. 1. amor conjugal, cap. 2. p. 22. relates out of Plato, how that Empedocles, the philosopher, was present at the cutting up of one that died for love, [5359]“his heart was combust, his liver smoky, his lungs dried up, insomuch that he verily believed his soul was either sodden or roasted through the vehemency of love's fire.” Which belike made a modern writer of amorous emblems express love's fury by a pot hanging over the fire, and Cupid blowing the coals. As the heat consumes the water, [5360]Sic sua consumit viscera coecus amor, so doth love dry up his radical moisture. Another compares love to a melting torch, which stood too near the fire.
[5361]Sic quo quis proprior suae puellae est,
Hoc stultus proprior suae runinae est.
The nearer he unto his mistress is,
The nearer he unto his ruin is.
So that to say truth, as [5362]Castilio describes it, “The beginning, middle, end of love is nought else but sorrow, vexation, agony, torment, irksomeness, wearisomeness; so that to be squalid, ugly, miserable, solitary, discontent, dejected, to wish for death, to complain, rave, and to be peevish, are the certain signs and ordinary actions of a lovesick person.” This continual pain and torture makes them forget themselves, if they be far gone with it, in doubt, despair of obtaining, or eagerly bent, to neglect all ordinary business.
[5363]———pendent opera interrupta, minaeque
Murorum ingentes, aequataque machina coelo.
Lovesick Dido left her work undone, so did [5364]Phaedra,
———Palladis telae vacant
Et inter ipsus pensa labuntur manus.
Faustus, in [5365]Mantuan, took no pleasure in anything he did,
Nulla quies mihi dulcis erat, nullus labor aegro
Pectore, sensus iners, et mens torpore sepulta,
Carminis occiderat studium.———
And 'tis the humour of them all, to be careless of their persons and their estates, as the shepherd in [5366]Theocritus, et haec barba inculta est, squalidique capilli, their beards flag, and they have no more care of pranking themselves or of any business, they care not, as they say, which end goes forward.
[5367]Oblitusque greges, et rura domestica totus
[5368]Uritur, et noctes in luctum expendit amaras,
Forgetting flocks of sheep and country farms,
The silly shepherd always mourns and burns.
Lovesick [5369]Chaerea, when he came from Pamphila's house, and had not so good welcome as he did expect, was all amort, Parmeno meets him, quid tristis es? Why art thou so sad man? unde es? whence comest, how doest? but he sadly replies, Ego hercle nescio neque unde eam, neque quorsum eam, ita prorsus oblitus sum mei, I have so forgotten myself, I neither know where I am, nor whence I come, nor whether I will, what I do. P. [5370]“How so?” Ch. “I am in love.” Prudens sciens. [5371]—vivus vidensque pereo, nec quid agam scio. [5372]“He that erst had his thoughts free” (as Philostratus Lemnius, in an epistle of his, describes this fiery passion), “and spent his time like a hard student, in those delightsome philosophical precepts; he that with the sun and moon wandered all over the world, with stars themselves ranged about, and left no secret or small mystery in nature unsearched, since he was enamoured can do nothing now but think and meditate of love matters, day and night composeth himself how to please his mistress; all his study, endeavour, is to approve himself to his mistress, to win his mistress' favour, to compass his desire, to be counted her servant.” When Peter Abelard, that great scholar of his age, Cui soli patuit scibile quicquid erat,[5373](“whose faculties were equal to any difficulty in learning,”) was now in love with Heloise, he had no mind to visit or frequent schools and scholars any more, Taediosum mihi valde fuit (as he [5374]confesseth) ad scholas procedere, vel in iis morari, all his mind was on his new mistress.
Теперь, с этой целью и намерением, если есть хоть какая-то надежда на достижение его цели, чтобы преследовать свое дело, он будет тратить себя, товары, состояние ради нее, и хотя он потеряет и оттолкнет всех своих друзей, будет угрожаем, отвергнут и лишен наследства; ибо, как говорит поэт, Amori quis legem det? хотя он будет совершенно разорен этим, опозорен, пойдет просить милостыню, все же ради ее милой души, чтобы насладиться ею, он будет охотно просить, рисковать всем, что у него есть, товарами, землями, стыдом, скандалом, славой и самой жизнью.
Non recedam neque quiescam, noctu et interdiu,
profecto quam aut ipsam, aut mortem investigavero.
I'll never rest or cease my suit
Till she or death do make me mute.
Parthenis in Aristaenetus [5376]was fully resolved to do as much. “I may have better matches, I confess, but farewell shame, farewell honour, farewell honesty, farewell friends and fortunes, &c. O, Harpedona, keep my counsel, I will leave all for his sweet sake, I will have him, say no more, contra gentes, I am resolved, I will have him.” Gobrias[5377], the captain, when, he had espied Rhodanthe, the fair captive maid, fell upon his knees before Mystilus, the general, with tears, vows, and all the rhetoric he could, by the scars he had formerly received, the good service he had done, or whatsoever else was dear unto him, besought his governor he might have the captive virgin to be his wife, virtutis suae spolium, as a reward of his worth and service; and, moreover, he would forgive him the money which was owing, and all reckonings besides due unto him, “I ask no more, no part of booty, no portion, but Rhodanthe to be my wife.” And when as he could not compass her by fair means, he fell to treachery, force and villainy, and set his life at stake at last to accomplish his desire. 'Tis a common humour this, a general passion of all lovers to be so affected, and which Aemilia told Aratine, a courtier in Castilio's discourse, “surely Aratine, if thou werst not so indeed, thou didst not love; ingenuously confess, for if thou hadst been thoroughly enamoured, thou wouldst have desired nothing more than to please thy mistress. For that is the law of love, to will and nill the same.”[5378]Tantum velle et nolle, velit nolit quod amica?[5379] Несомненно, это можно провозгласить обо всех них: они — настоящие рабы, чернорабочие на это время, сумасшедшие, глупцы, болваны, atrabilarii, вне себя, и слепы, как кроты. Их слабоумие наиболее заметно, Amore simul et sapere ipsi Jovi non datur, как считает Сенека, сам Юпитер не может одновременно любить и быть мудрым; самые лучшие из них, если однажды они будут охвачены этой страстью, самые уравновешенные, рассудительные, серьезные, благородные и мудрые, иначе способные управлять собой, в этом совершают много абсурдов, много непристойностей, не подобающих их серьезности и положению.
[5382]Quisquis amat servit, sequitur captivus amantem,
Fert domita cervice jugum———
Samson, David, Solomon, Hercules, Socrates, &c. are justly taxed of indiscretion in this point; the middle sort are between hawk and buzzard; and although they do perceive and acknowledge their own dotage, weakness, fury, yet they cannot withstand it; as well may witness those expostulations and confessions of Dido in Virgil.
[5383]Incipit effari mediaque in voce resistit.
Phaedra in Seneca.
[5384]Quod ratio poscit, vincit ac regnat furor,
Potensque tota mente dominatur deus.
Myrrha in [5385]. Ovid
Illa quidem sentit, foedoque repugnat amori,
Et secum quo mente feror, quid molior, inquit,
Dii precor, et pietas, &c.
She sees and knows her fault, and doth resist,
Against her filthy lust she doth contend.
And whither go I, what am I about?
And God forbid, yet doth it in the end.
Again,
———Per vigil igne
Carpitur indomito, furiosaque vota retrectat,
Et modo desperat, modo vult tentare, pudetque
Et cupit, et quid agat, non invenit, &c.
With raging lust she burns, and now recalls
Her vow, and then despairs, and when 'tis past,
Her former thoughts she'll prosecute in haste,
And what to do she knows not at the last.
She will and will not, abhors: and yet as Medea did, doth it,
———Trahit invitam nova via, aliudque cupido,
Mens aliud suadet; video meliora, proboque,
Deteriora sequor.———
Reason pulls one way, burning lust another,
She sees and knows what's good, but she doth neither,
O fraus, amorque, et mentis emotae furor,
quo me abstulistis?[5386]
Большая часть влюбленных несется сломя голову, как бессловесные звери, разум советует одно, твои друзья, состояние, стыд, позор, опасность и океан забот, которые непременно последуют; все же эта яростная похоть низвергает, перевешивает, перетягивает на другую сторону; хотя это их полная гибель, вечный позор, потеря, все же они сделают это и станут наконец insensati, лишенными смысла; выродятся в собак, свиней, ослов, скотов; как Юпитер в быка, Апулей в осла, Ликаон в волка, Терей в чибиса, Калисто в медведицу, Эльпенор и Грил в свиней у Цирцеи. Ибо что еще мы можем думать, что те изобретательные поэты запечатлели в своих остроумных вымыслах и стихах, кроме того, что человек, однажды предавшийся своей похоти (как Фульгенций интерпретирует это у Апулея, Альциат у Терея), «не лучше зверя».
Rex fueram, sic crista docet, sed sordida vita
Immundam e tanto culmine fecit avem.[5389]
I was a king, my crown my witness is,
But by my filthiness am come to this.
Their blindness is all out as great, as manifest as their weakness and dotage, or rather an inseparable companion, an ordinary sign of it, [5390] love is blind, as the saying is, Cupid's blind, and so are all his followers. Quisquis amat ranam, ranam putat esse Dianam. Every lover admires his mistress, though she be very deformed of herself, ill-favoured, wrinkled, pimpled, pale, red, yellow, tanned, tallow-faced, have a swollen juggler's platter face, or a thin, lean, chitty face, have clouds in her face, be crooked, dry, bald, goggle-eyed, blear-eyed, or with staring eyes, she looks like a squissed cat, hold her head still awry, heavy, dull, hollow-eyed, black or yellow about the eyes, or squint-eyed, sparrow-mouthed, Persian hook-nosed, have a sharp fox nose, a red nose, China flat, great nose, nare simo patuloque, a nose like a promontory, gubber-tushed, rotten teeth, black, uneven, brown teeth, beetle browed, a witch's beard, her breath stink all over the room, her nose drop winter and summer, with a Bavarian poke under her chin, a sharp chin, lave eared, with a long crane's neck, which stands awry too, pendulis mammis, “her dugs like two double jugs,” or else no dugs, in that other extreme, bloody fallen fingers, she have filthy, long unpared nails, scabbed hands or wrists, a tanned skin, a rotten carcass, crooked back, she stoops, is lame, splay-footed, “as slender in the middle as a cow in the waist,” gouty legs, her ankles hang over her shoes, her feet stink, she breed lice, a mere changeling, a very monster, an oaf imperfect, her whole complexion savours, a harsh voice, incondite gesture, vile gait, a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs, a truss, a long lean rawbone, a skeleton, a sneaker (si qua latent meliora puta), and to thy judgment looks like a merd in a lantern, whom thou couldst not fancy for a world, but hatest, loathest, and wouldst have spit in her face, or blow thy nose in her bosom, remedium amoris to another man, a dowdy, a slut, a scold, a nasty, rank, rammy, filthy, beastly quean, dishonest peradventure, obscene, base, beggarly, rude, foolish, untaught, peevish, Irus' daughter, Thersites' sister, Grobians' scholar, if he love her once, he admires her for all this, he takes no notice of any such errors, or imperfections of body or mind, [5391]Ipsa haec—delectant, veluti Balbinum Polypus Agnae,; he had rather have her than any woman in the world. If he were a king, she alone should be his queen, his empress. O that he had but the wealth and treasure of both the Indies to endow her with, a carrack of diamonds, a chain of pearl, a cascanet of jewels, (a pair of calfskin gloves of four-pence a pair were fitter), or some such toy, to send her for a token, she should have it with all his heart; he would spend myriads of crowns for her sake. Venus herself, Panthea, Cleopatra, Tarquin's Tanaquil, Herod's Mariamne, or [5392]Mary of Burgundy, if she were alive, would not match her.